Twenty Somethings…

I was reading an article and the target audience were ‘twenty somethings’. Till a few months ago, I simply accepted the author was referencing people like me. But, things have changed since the last five months as I celebrated with quite some pomp and number of lovely gifts my 30 turns around the Sun.

If you notice the what is written in the article, I do relate to a number of things written there and obviously things have not changed drastically – but they have

A reference to milestone ages make you sit up and ponder with some profound things in life.

• What are those things that I really value?
• How happy am I?
• What have I achieved so far?
• Has my career been the way I wanted it to be?
• How happy are the those people who matter the most to me?

If I start going into each of these, it would be a lengthy blog, so this time around I limit to the question on my career. After five years of being a successful IT professional, I did some deep soul diving and I re-started practically from scratch my career in Human Resources. It wasn’t an easy thing to do and I have had quite some support from my hubs – however it does raise some questions and insecurities.

A quick birthday note to my dear friend ‘S’ with a line or two about my finding my way in my new career triggered this thought from him:

Sometimes starting from scratch is an interesting experience. That way, the job pressures/responsibilities are lot lesser too, which makes the learning part much more enjoyable.

However secure I might be about my plans, goals and in my ability to achieve them, it doesn’t matter how old you are, but a word or two from a close friend makes all the difference.

I probably seemed to have answered not just one question here, but more than that. So what are your answers to some/all of these questions? Would love to know your perspectives.

 

The Beauty of a Perfect Fit

Among many things that make me happy, one thing that gets me is the when something or an event fits perfectly. The fit could be a good dress that makes you look fab or an event or series of events that pan out better than you had ever expected. You might say, who wouldn’t like that! Well, it depends. Most people are happy when things turn out to be better than your expectations (only if they are aware something so wonderful has happened) and many others might delight a good fit. I couldn’t be sure of the percentage and yes the intersection of these two sets is also a possibility I cannot rule out – as I believe I fall in this category.

Having digressed enough, I am here talking about more mundane stuff and nothing profound – so I here to talk about a perfectly fitting dress.

My sense of dressing and the taste is something I inherit from my mom and it has surely improved with time. Apart from genetic advantage, my dear friend Di has taught me lot in her own way. I still miss our shopping adventures and choices and debates on dresses and well getting those dresses to perfect fit. The secret is that however, endowed you may be, wearing a good fit and mind you, not a crushing, body hugging one, will always enhance the way you look.

With time, Di and I were not able to meet as often as we liked and I started depending on my hubs and then came another lady, with an undying sense of style, colour and fit. She has sometimes sounded mad about it too, but then Dee is Dee or A, as I call her. She also became that excellent companion who made things right for me and further fine-tuned things for me.

They say, one evolves with time and I would say, in terms of dressing I have evolved too and yes the process continues.

It is one my long cherished ambitions, especially after pregnancy, to fit into a nice suit and well not look at myself and feel a tad sad. Well, I don’t get way too bogged down by my size, but I do not have a complete apathy to it too. So coming back to the perfect fit, I finally achieved about 50% of what I wanted and I am happy at my progress.

So you see, the joy had to be shared and yes, please wish me luck to achieve my target

 

To one of the Greatest teachers in Electrical Engineering!

It is said that what matters is not quantity but quality- Well, I am proud to have been taught by one of the best teachers ever in Electrical Engineering.

He taught me Network Theory and Laplace transforms for just two hours in my first year of Engineering and I did fabulously well in those exams. He once explained a concept in second year and life seemed so simple after that. The beauty in his teaching was in the simplicity with which he explained, he came down to the level of the student, never berated one for lack of knowledge and brought in his own devised ways to explain the fundamental concept. Once he taught the concept, I could work on my own and do well. That is the hallmark of a great teacher.

Fortunately, my uncle and one of the greatest minds I have known. He was a teacher beyond words.

He is no more with us today in person, but will always be remembered and cherished with everyone who has known him and more so by those who have been taught by him.

 

‘Coach’ & I

The last few months have been hectic and I am trying to get back in touch with some of my close friends. The distances make it tough for us to meet, but the technology is amiable in its own way.

So, yesterday, I called T and we spoke for a very, very long time. Simply put, it is highly therapeutic to catch up with close friends even if it is done once in many months. I have spoken a lot about this earlier.

So my dear ‘T’ says, she wants to get me a Coach handbag as my 30th birthday gift.

What can I say, I didn’t have many qualms about my age and turning 30, but this year the kind of gifts I got and make me super happy.

Thanks T.

Love ya!

Farewells!

One of my close friends, the primary reason who gave me the confidence to come to Sydney has relocated to India for a short time.  With her here, I haven’t really thought or put in much effort to make any friends here. The comfort with her and now her hubs is so much that the first person I can think of calling here is her – for anything. Then why bother going through all this process again!

Just being lazy, but pray, don’t take me to be anti-social.

A’s daughter, I and my D hit it off very well too. They are a year apart and have now learnt to play together. It was indeed tough to picture that they wouldn’t have each other to play with over the weekends.

My quandary is always about what to say or not to say in farewells. I am pretty bad at expressing my feelings openly and hugs don’t really come naturally to me. But then, what would you say, in farewells? Mind you – this question only exists for those chosen few Yes, I am quite a detached soul otherwise.

The fact that we will miss them and they shouldn’t go and how terrible it would be without them and all… I suppose not, this would make the person who is leaving feeling pretty down in the dumps.

The hope of meeting again – at some time in the future – seems like the statutory warning

I am yet to find a concrete answer.

I thought that A’s daughter I, showed it beautifully. They were leaving and about to take the lift, when she ran back to where D and I were standing and she gave her friend a tight hug and went back running to her parents with a big smile and bye. Her mom’s eyes were moist.

It was so cute and indescribable in words that this clip would remain in my memory and one of the fondest farewells.

Sometimes, words can’t say much, it just has to be felt and a simple hug can do the trick.

What is in a woman’s handbag?

Many men who couldn’t keep their inquisitive nature to themselves, have asked me  about what do I have in my handbag. The first time I heard that question,  it did get me wondering suspiciously. I was soon told about the enigma that men have with a woman’s handbag Hubs has had his questions too and probable answers – I hope.  

Honestly, I wouldn’t like to give anyone my handbag and let them delve through it. Like all this personal and handbag to a woman is sacred. It has a whole lot of things in it that define the woman carrying it. Starting from looks, colour, size, design, brand and then to what is she carrying in it.

I am yet to meet a woman who would say a no to another handbag, even if she has a hundred in her closet. I love all the hand bags I have and yet would like to have that another one that I saw in the shop. With the luggage restrictions I wasn’t able to bring many to Australia and it does hit me as a handicap Not being able to change bags. My recent visit to Melbourne got a lovely red one from my sis – I love it

But what am I getting to saying is that just like clothes a hnd bag needs to make a statement. At least it has to in my case. The one and a half years that my daughter was still needing a whole lot of paraphernalia, I didn’t have a hand bag, however, my darling  friend T, sent me a very impressive diaper bag. Once again – had to have a bag that makes a statement.

Coming back to the question of what do I have in it – well, it will surely hold a wallet ( I might have to write another post on the efficacy of good wallets), my phone, hair comb/brush, moisturizers, snacks, emergency purpose stuff and a lot more – a man will need to delve into the hand bag to see, a woman might understand what else could be there

So that’s what that can be there in a woman’s hand bag and much, much more – Just like the myriad shades a woman dones, so would be the contents of her bag. To all the valuable women in my life – thanks for being there and enjoy your handbags, who cares what others have to say

 

The ‘A’ Factor

As my little one was throwing a tantrum to sit in her stroller, I met another mother in the lift. She started talking about how her daughter throws similar fits to sit in her stroller and how it is important to discipline them. As we spoke, I came to know that her daughter was also the same age as my D. Terrible Twos!

Well, it got me thinking about the enamoured ‘A’ word – Age.

It was not just me, but a lot of parents of children below 2 years of age tell their children’s age in the exact months. Obviously, it becomes a habit when the child is below one, but takes a whole year to get rid of it, once they turn one too. I suppose, it comes from the immense happiness of having achieved another milestone with the toddler. Trust me, they aren’t easy at all. In fact, working in an office seems far easier, any given time.

So as we continue to grow (I know it is never ending ), it is nice to tell how old you are until you reach a phase, when you don’t want to reveal it anymore. Rather driven by a lot of peer pressure, for women especially, to not reveal the true age. It is like another fad like being thin. I personally have no qualms in telling my age. I may or may not look it, I can’t always help that, but I am happy to be 30 right now.

Concept: The funda behind my comfort lies in the rationale that I am going to be ’30′ only this ONE year and will never be the same ever again, then what’s the point in covering it up, morphing it or lying about it. I like to live and enjoy every single day and kills me to be down and depressed about anything – least of all my age.

However, it doesn’t mean I won’t take care of myself or not bother about how I look. I do whatever I can and hope to put in a methodical regimen with Yoga.

So, whatever your age, enjoy it and have a ball of the ‘A’ factor.

 

 

 

 

Half a decade ago….

The story started with an innocent, dull and very civil email.

It was the very first time this day that I had made my first contact with a man who, if things worked out, could be my future husband. As destiny would have it, he responded to my email in a manner that made me very happy. It was a long, flawlessly written email and my first reaction to it was – “He knows English!” Yes, as biased it may sound, I needed my partner to communicate in English as fluently I could and this was non-negotiable.

To add to that list, I had a lot of other things too. But now that I think about how our 15 day email exchange moved to telephone calls and eventually at the end of three weeks we both happened I to say a “Yes” to each other, I honestly did not check a number of things. In this case, I just let my heart decide and by God’s grace it worked!

One of hubs’ close friend had once asked me about what was it that you wanted in a guy and how did hubs qualify It was the first time I actually had said this to someone outside, but my answer was simple – “He had surpassed all that I wanted in a guy. There was really nothing else I wanted in my partner.”

I suppose it was the same conviction that led me to enjoy our courtship and later our wedding day and which continues to work in our marriage too. It is so tough to keep a relationship going strong for years and years. We have had our ups and downs and been mad with each other. But all in all, I couldn’t have asked for someone else who takes care of me, respects my family, friends and my interests and adores our daughter (I know I need not mention the last one), but I honestly couldn’t have managed taking care of our daughter without hubs.

So here is a big hug and loads of kissies for the romantic month of March that will be for us.

Uplifting mood therapy

I want to call this blog a therapy blog as it is more a DIY than anything else.

So, what do you do when you are down and depressed for whatever reason and sometimes when you don’t know the reason too. There could be many reasons that can bring me down, but honestly, I hate being dull and depressed. There should be some advantage of having lived on this planet for the last 3 decades does help me understand what makes me mad and some reasons behind it too. So the most common reason seems to be routine and monotonous activities and hence driven to sheer boredom!

I am in awe of people who can keep doing the same thing over and over again, knowing well that they are capable of something much higher and staying happy too. It is just maddening for me. Moreover, if things aren’t intellectually stimulating enough that becomes a bigger killer.

So, some DIYs that help me in uplifting my mood are:

• Reading a book
• Writing something
• Going out for a nice walk or may be just out
• Painting
• Embroidery
• And Yes, a nice nap

Mind you, this list is something that is constrained as I cannot always go for a nice massage or a pedicure or some such treatment – alas staying away from home has a number of disadvantages.

Finally another day went by and I pulled myself out of my sullen state by the end of a post and a nap to seal the deal.

Do you have your own DIYs?

 

Eating habits

This Monday, my daughter started day care. She goes only for 2 days in a week, as I felt that she will enjoy some social interactions of her age and also have fun. Moreover, it gives me some time and she will learn to gradually wean off staying the whole day at home. Even if I am working from home or step out.

This was the very first time she was in the care of people outside the family. Yes, I was apprehensive as a mother, but not harried and worked up. Thankfully, she took it well and so did I. It is the wonderful temperament of most kids to be easily diverted and we are naturally wired to explore. There will always be actions and ways that have been learnt at home that will continue where ever she goes. I might want her to learn and evolve some, but there are some actions I think she is doing just fine in; such as saying a “thank you” when she takes something from me or anyone else.

One of the actions I don’t insist in her changing is despising eating with her hands. I want her to learn how to eat neatly with her hands and maintain the hygiene. I also want her to master eating with a spoon. The first thing I was asked about in her care was if she ate only with hands and this was asked with some part disgust. Though I didn’t give an explanation as to why she liked to eat with her hand and I didn’t mind as long as she ate and enjoyed her food, but I knew that most Westerners and in this Aussies don’t like to eat with their hands. In many of the conservative nations, other than middle east, some African countries and Indian region, eating with hand is not appreciated.

However, this is changing and people are beginning to realise that there are etiquette involved when eating with hand and only right hand and moreover, it adds a lot to the entire eating experience. As a child I was taught not to drop any food while eating with the hand. Wash my hands prior to eating. Not to let the entire hand, the palm to touch the food. Use only your right hand, even to break the roti/Indian bread. Only use the tips of the fingers and most importantly, take what is needed and never to leave/waste food. These eating habits and etiquette are as important to eating with your hand as it is with eating with cutlery. Moreover, something that my daughter needs to learn in order to appreciate her Indian culture in this world and be comfortable with it, where her next school could be in any country other than India.

I read an interesting article  in New York Times to support this and I am glad that people are beginning to look at eating from other non-western perspective too.  After all imagine struggling with a knife and fork to eat dosa or roti. It simply kills all the enthusiasm involved in eating.