It occurred seeing one of those typical ads that some of the rich men have pretty dumb, snobbish wives. There are three possibilities to this occurrence:
- That the men don’t want wives who can utilize their brain outside the kitchen/home/beauty care, etc,.
- The women become this way after getting married into affluent families or may be the nouveau riche
- These women were simply born this way and those poor rich men didn’t have a choice
Now let us look at each of the above possibilities a little closely. (Does this point by point analysis seem like something you’ve read in your days in school, well, years of study have ingrained this form of analysis, hence I request you to kindly put up with it)
Looking at the first possibility – That the men don’t want wives who can utilize their brain outside the kitchen/home/beauty care, etc,.
I think that this possibly helps men to work with freedom sans the intelligence of the wife, who is supposed to be important in his life. By marrying such a bimbette, the husband has to supply with the materialistic things to keep her happy. In short, he can then concentrate all his energies towards building his assets, which he is so good at.
Second – The women become this way after getting married into affluent families or may be the nouveau riche
The assumption remains that the women do not start out to be affluent, but happen to gain it by a matter of chance accompanied by complete ignorance as to how the wealth comes by. Their supreme worry or involvement remains in maintaining their ‘status’. This is done through the strutting of property and jewelry, in which ever measure. So by marrying into a family that apparently doesn’t care for money, it leaves these poor women with only one occupation as described above. The men in this case, have little choice, as they have forever seen women around them behaving in the similar – snobbish manner and their wives (as expected) follow the routine.
Coming to the nouveau riche, they understand that money is hard to come by, but the fact that they so desperately want to fit “in” to the elite or the affluent circles is so high that it once again drives them towards the main occupation of maintaining their status. The men here, may or may not be driven by this want of status and hence are a parti to the whole status game.
Third – These women were simply born this way and those poor rich men didn’t have a choice
We come to the third possibility, where the men just got married to women whose prime occupation has always been to maintain an extremely snobbish and repulsive ways of life. Assuming that their husbands are affluent enough to support their whims, they simply improve (oops, deteriorate) with age. Hence, the man has very less choice in order to maintain his peace, but to comply with all the materialistic demands.
It is alarming and amusing to watch people make a complete cake of their lives, just to satisfy the society or merely to fit in. What makes me wonder is that who is this Society that we so desperately want to please. No society ever comes for one’s rescue in times of need, then what is the use of confirming to these norms? My example above, simply touches a small strata of people, but when I think of people at large, there are “societal pressures” everywhere and many a times we are forced to comply. Many a times, I agree to these norms, not because I believe in some such stuff, but simply to avoid hurting my close ones. If a number of people of my generation find it comfortable to settle away from India, or are termed as brash for not confirming to the rules and regulations, then they want to live a care-free and no-frills attached life of their own and truly upon their own terms. To break these stereotypes, without altering the fabric of our culture, is close to impossible. But, trying to maintain a fine balance between the two is not easy, but possible and I am constantly working at it.