It has been very hectic. I was musing about my steady mood all through the ups and downs. Finally it has hit. Itni khush kaisi hoon?
As a matter of fact, nothing that I have wanted have I got without any strings. Whenever I wanted something, someone had an objection with it. At times attributed to their possessive behaviour or call it anything. Funny indeed. Am I to be happy for their concern or otherwise. Just drives home the point how important is “space” for an individual.
There has been yet another thing that has been soo prevalent. The duplicity of behaviour and the way people bitch. Even if one does not participate, one invariably is dragged into it. Just feel as though a part of myself is lost…
Considered this pathetic mood and thought that I need to get out of it. Max duration being half a day…. I am back to being myself. Ask me what was the remedy…well..well
Rafi…his Mellifluous music is enough to make me going..infact running again. Just listening to his “Abhi na jao chod ke ke” makes me smile at the beauty of lyrics the wonderful way in which the scene was shot. Simply superb! One of my all time favorites.
Every time I happen to read a beautifully described write up it makes me happy beyond words. I just want to go and tell every other person ….or rather people whom I think can appreciate it also. Couple of such passages are here for all.
“.. Her emblazoned fault was to be too pronounced in her objections, and not sufficiently overt in her likings. We learn that it is not the rays which bodies absorb, but those which reject, that give them the colours they are known by; and in the same way people are specialized by their likes and antagonisms, whilst their goodwill is looked upon as no attribute at all.” Hardy has described Bathesheba’s personality with remarkable charm and elegance.
In yet another instance, “…He had reached the time of life at which ‘young’ is ceasing to be the prefix of ‘man’ in speaking of one. He was at the brightest period of masculine growth, for his intellect and his emotions were clearly separated: he had passed the time during which the influence of youth indiscriminately mingles them in the character of impulse, and he had not arrived at the stage wherein they become united again, in the character of prejudice, by the influence of a wife and family. In short he was twenty-eight and a bachelor.”
Hardy has told the age of this man. One may ask what was the necessity to put it like this, but the writer has taken into account the influence of the circumstances and experiences that shape an individual. Its not just the age but a whole plethora of connected instances that make the person what he is at that age. Every age is different and a novel experience. We mostly tend to see the fact that how did such and such individual behave in a particular manner that was not agreeable to us, may be if can understand from the person’s perspective, as to what made him/react like that…what was it in the past which triggered this… we will not behave in the same manner.It would then be a more amicable world…. but then I guess am tending to be more Utopic. So long I’ll be how I want to be 🙂
Its been a real long time since I came here. I just didn’t want to, somehow do not want to explain it either. How I wish everyhting was understood without talking.
“kabhi kabhi pata chalta hai ki shabd kitne mehetvapoorn hai…ya shayad kitne bebas…”
There is always this one feeling or desire to know more about what that person is thinking. Having known that I cannot really say I am happy, but then its nice to take it subjectively. I never knew some facets of those people soo close to me. Its nice to be privy to this persona…what all happens in that mind part from the playful banter and that repartee. Its as though I am knowing a new person. Yet, there are few who are soo very predictable. I wonder how two men in my life are in fact so different and yet are so similar. Having known both of them so intimately, I was quite surprised that I couldn’t see this facet of the two. Behind all that they are their crux is same.
I love it the most when the core remains untouched by the happenings, yet the covering changes. There is that required space given and yet that intimacy.
Coming back from a hectic day at work, I can either curse that my building so far from the gate else I have the choice of admiring the brilliance of the setting sun. Playing a hide and seek with the clouds it casts it golden aura on the evening sky. At this time of the year, the shades of orange are really superb. One can stay transfixed with the changes that occur by the minute. Every minute presents a different hue, that no possible palette can capture.
This makes me realise that the best things in life that can make me happy are least expensive. A rose garden, an innocent smile of a child..these are the things that make me happy and keep me happy too. An expensive pair of sunglasses gives me the momentary happiness, but entails with it the burden of extreme care. It leaves me with no peace of mind untill it is safely put back in its case. How can I possibly derive my happiness out of such trappings?