Has this ever happened to you that you are friends, rather much more than that, for a long, long time and suddenly you realise that somewhere down the line, you have lost that spark?
There are some set of friends whom I value a lot. Being the person who finds it immensely difficult to express my feelings verbally, I may not always admit that these people matter. I have known these people for a really long time now. Some of them have even integrated with my family and yet, over the past couple of years there has been a distance. Something, that is not tangible but perceivable. Initially, this was very tough to accept, but then I do today.
People change with time, but I have maintained that the core should not. Self-perception has always intrigued me and I have remained forever concerned with it. I know from that that I have not changed at the core. But, then I see my once closest friends do not realise this and perceive me differently. Yes, they have changed, I can see that. Priorities change with time and things that once mattered most don’t seem to matter much. But then I am not very happy and convinced that this should cost me some of my most precious friendships.
There are some of my friends with whom I seem to maintain a continuum. Its like I speak to them after a month or sometimes half a year skips by and yet when we say that “hello”,the time lag seems to have shrunk. It doesn’t matter that we have not talked for a long time now, what matters is that in the now each know what the other means. There is a sense of relation and understanding. I have lost a friend due to what I might call quirks of life and not sure when can I ever talk to him again. I seem to have lost the other, but not physically. But the mental connection is not the same. The frequency or wavelength or the chemistry is starkly missing. Yup used a lot of scientific words. 🙂 But the fact remains that it hurts to know this.
Can anyone possibly answer why?
PS: I realised this after I posted, its a leap year and today is 29th. What an irony, if I just want this blog to be forgotten and lost !