Twenty Somethings…

I was reading an article and the target audience were ‘twenty somethings’. Till a few months ago, I simply accepted the author was referencing people like me. But, things have changed since the last five months as I celebrated with quite some pomp and number of lovely gifts my 30 turns around the Sun.

If you notice the what is written in the article, I do relate to a number of things written there and obviously things have not changed drastically – but they have

A reference to milestone ages make you sit up and ponder with some profound things in life.

• What are those things that I really value?
• How happy am I?
• What have I achieved so far?
• Has my career been the way I wanted it to be?
• How happy are the those people who matter the most to me?

If I start going into each of these, it would be a lengthy blog, so this time around I limit to the question on my career. After five years of being a successful IT professional, I did some deep soul diving and I re-started practically from scratch my career in Human Resources. It wasn’t an easy thing to do and I have had quite some support from my hubs – however it does raise some questions and insecurities.

A quick birthday note to my dear friend ‘S’ with a line or two about my finding my way in my new career triggered this thought from him:

Sometimes starting from scratch is an interesting experience. That way, the job pressures/responsibilities are lot lesser too, which makes the learning part much more enjoyable.

However secure I might be about my plans, goals and in my ability to achieve them, it doesn’t matter how old you are, but a word or two from a close friend makes all the difference.

I probably seemed to have answered not just one question here, but more than that. So what are your answers to some/all of these questions? Would love to know your perspectives.

 

The Beauty of a Perfect Fit

Among many things that make me happy, one thing that gets me is the when something or an event fits perfectly. The fit could be a good dress that makes you look fab or an event or series of events that pan out better than you had ever expected. You might say, who wouldn’t like that! Well, it depends. Most people are happy when things turn out to be better than your expectations (only if they are aware something so wonderful has happened) and many others might delight a good fit. I couldn’t be sure of the percentage and yes the intersection of these two sets is also a possibility I cannot rule out – as I believe I fall in this category.

Having digressed enough, I am here talking about more mundane stuff and nothing profound – so I here to talk about a perfectly fitting dress.

My sense of dressing and the taste is something I inherit from my mom and it has surely improved with time. Apart from genetic advantage, my dear friend Di has taught me lot in her own way. I still miss our shopping adventures and choices and debates on dresses and well getting those dresses to perfect fit. The secret is that however, endowed you may be, wearing a good fit and mind you, not a crushing, body hugging one, will always enhance the way you look.

With time, Di and I were not able to meet as often as we liked and I started depending on my hubs and then came another lady, with an undying sense of style, colour and fit. She has sometimes sounded mad about it too, but then Dee is Dee or A, as I call her. She also became that excellent companion who made things right for me and further fine-tuned things for me.

They say, one evolves with time and I would say, in terms of dressing I have evolved too and yes the process continues.

It is one my long cherished ambitions, especially after pregnancy, to fit into a nice suit and well not look at myself and feel a tad sad. Well, I don’t get way too bogged down by my size, but I do not have a complete apathy to it too. So coming back to the perfect fit, I finally achieved about 50% of what I wanted and I am happy at my progress.

So you see, the joy had to be shared and yes, please wish me luck to achieve my target

 

The ‘A’ Factor

As my little one was throwing a tantrum to sit in her stroller, I met another mother in the lift. She started talking about how her daughter throws similar fits to sit in her stroller and how it is important to discipline them. As we spoke, I came to know that her daughter was also the same age as my D. Terrible Twos!

Well, it got me thinking about the enamoured ‘A’ word – Age.

It was not just me, but a lot of parents of children below 2 years of age tell their children’s age in the exact months. Obviously, it becomes a habit when the child is below one, but takes a whole year to get rid of it, once they turn one too. I suppose, it comes from the immense happiness of having achieved another milestone with the toddler. Trust me, they aren’t easy at all. In fact, working in an office seems far easier, any given time.

So as we continue to grow (I know it is never ending ), it is nice to tell how old you are until you reach a phase, when you don’t want to reveal it anymore. Rather driven by a lot of peer pressure, for women especially, to not reveal the true age. It is like another fad like being thin. I personally have no qualms in telling my age. I may or may not look it, I can’t always help that, but I am happy to be 30 right now.

Concept: The funda behind my comfort lies in the rationale that I am going to be ’30′ only this ONE year and will never be the same ever again, then what’s the point in covering it up, morphing it or lying about it. I like to live and enjoy every single day and kills me to be down and depressed about anything – least of all my age.

However, it doesn’t mean I won’t take care of myself or not bother about how I look. I do whatever I can and hope to put in a methodical regimen with Yoga.

So, whatever your age, enjoy it and have a ball of the ‘A’ factor.

 

 

 

 

Uplifting mood therapy

I want to call this blog a therapy blog as it is more a DIY than anything else.

So, what do you do when you are down and depressed for whatever reason and sometimes when you don’t know the reason too. There could be many reasons that can bring me down, but honestly, I hate being dull and depressed. There should be some advantage of having lived on this planet for the last 3 decades does help me understand what makes me mad and some reasons behind it too. So the most common reason seems to be routine and monotonous activities and hence driven to sheer boredom!

I am in awe of people who can keep doing the same thing over and over again, knowing well that they are capable of something much higher and staying happy too. It is just maddening for me. Moreover, if things aren’t intellectually stimulating enough that becomes a bigger killer.

So, some DIYs that help me in uplifting my mood are:

• Reading a book
• Writing something
• Going out for a nice walk or may be just out
• Painting
• Embroidery
• And Yes, a nice nap

Mind you, this list is something that is constrained as I cannot always go for a nice massage or a pedicure or some such treatment – alas staying away from home has a number of disadvantages.

Finally another day went by and I pulled myself out of my sullen state by the end of a post and a nap to seal the deal.

Do you have your own DIYs?

 

Fast Forward?

Five years ago, just around this time, I desperately prayed to God to forward my life by five years. I am glad he doesn’t do things like that

I would have missed

• The instinct that tells you over and over again, ” This is the one, this is the one….”, on and on in my mind
• The heady feeling of instantly falling in love
• The heady feeling of being madly in love that could make you do many insane things
• The lovely courtship days that made them so special because of all the time we had ‘just’ for ourselves and no sundries being a part of it
• Getting married
• Driving around like mad people in the US and more or less covered the East coast and some of the West too
• Buying our own house
• Decorating it with all things important and trivial, yet so special in our hearts
• The birth of our daughter and her growing up
• Discovering my calling at work
• Making some great friends on my way
• Moving to Australia and all that we are going through now….

So, when God makes it really hard to bear, he throws many things to enjoy life too.

Have fun and keep smiling and enjoy the ride.

Faith Renewed

After you have put in all your efforts, there are times when you wonder why things are not in our control?

Why is everything going hay-way?

When will I be able to get things done?

Will anything ever work out for me? ….and so on and so forth, I suppose you get the drift.

It is in moments like this that I get my peace/answers in renewing my faith in my God. I had written a post on ‘mann‘ which means heart in Hindi. It is a beautiful verse written by the Late. Harivanshrai Bachhan.

If I had to translate this short poem (without lyrical sense) then it would mean…

If whatever you wish for, that happens then it is good

However, if whatever you wish for, if that doesn’t happen then its even better

Because when what your heart wishes for doesn’t happen

Then that happens which is in his heart

And that is much better than what you had ever wished for.

Last Saturday, was one such instance when something very nice and seemingly surreal happened – all because I had supreme faith in my God.

Connecting to ‘me’

As a course of daily life, we play myriad roles of that of a daughter, wife, mother, co-worker, boss, etc,. but quite often forget the real me. In order to function right it is essential to connect to the real ‘me’ inside.

Two days ago, I found real joy and me. While getting back home from my mother’s place and there were a set of things that I really like that came together, to make me really happy. In order of sequence:

1. I was driving a nice car on a relatively traffic free road after a really long time: driving is one of those things that can uplift me anytime.
2. It was dusk and in spite of the crazy pollution and the evening traffic just starting, the sun shone in a beautiful golden yellow that was so ‘happy’ – nature is another thing that makes me happy, I can spend hours admiring it and love to go to places where nature is respected and treasured. The beautiful sun all through the way, just made me forget everything.
3. A beautiful number from a Telugu movie – Anathpuram 1980 – Kontechupu tho. The lyrics, the music just made it for me. I ended my drive with this beautiful number on the radio and what can I say, I loved life! 

These are the simple things that life is made of and that which makes life worth living and loving the ones in our life!

Something different…

Well, it is a great feeling to be a mother and as I had mentioned in some of my previous posts the love is Unconditional. I see my daughter smile and it always makes up for the best experience I have ever had.

Suddenly, I realize that there was or is ‘me’, behind all the motherhood. After having lived mostly for myself for many years now, the change is not easy to take. It makes me wonder how my mother’s generation is so self-less. Was it something with their generation or just them, I really do not know. But I know for one that being a house-wife or a home-maker (whatever you call it!) is not an easy job. Added to that continuous baby sitting isn’t something I thought I was capable of till I took it up voluntarily.

I ranted with my girl friends who are in similar situations and they all concur when I reveal my feelings. I drove hubs mad and was on the brink of loosing it. Yes, I hit my abysmal low mood while staying at home and taking care of my daughter. The sense of being ignored or not recognised is so high. Post pregnancy, the body undergoes a lot of change and this hits one’s self-esteem too. There are extreme doubts about ever being able to get back to work. I think this comes from the fact that I have always worked and not being able to, places ridiculous doubts in one’s idle mind.

After enough of wallowing in self-pity and dejection, I got sick of it too . Yeah, I can’t take myself being so dull and down. I wanted a ‘me’ time and also sometime with my hubs – just us. It was time for some changes and something different. Well, I ended getting a very different cut that suits me and more importantly makes me feel good about myself. This change was so necessary for ‘me’.

And finally, after eight months of being at home and taking care of my little bundle of joy, I got the opportunity to get back to work. It was a seriously liberating feeling!

My nature of work as a behavioral skills trainer allows me to work part-time with just a few days in a month away from my baby and I am very happy with it. With support from my parents and hubs I am able to take up assignments and keep my morale high. The cherry on the cake was that my hubby’s work place was right beside and we ended up on a couple of lunch dates

This choice is not particularly easy, physically, but the ego boost and a sense of overall achievement is immense.

Our Angel

The 10th of this month saw the arrival of our little angel. A defining moment in our lives and an excellent personal milestone for me and hubs this year.

Flagging off this year, I wish everyone a lovely, peaceful and prosperous 2010 year ahead. I hope that all your dreams and aspirations for the year come true and hope for a clean and peaceful year for one and all.

Happy New Year – 2010!

Two Precious Lives

Post for Mother’s Day Competition at Indus Ladies

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Ma is probably the first word most children learn to utter. It is the easiest word or may be it is easy because the mother and child are connected in that very special way that no other relation can compete with it. I would say, I am lucky, because I have two such wonderful relations in my life – my mom, who gave birth to me (Amma) and my other mom with whom I grew up for the better part of my childhood (Mummy).

The interesting part of the whole scenario was that at all times I have had the benefit of both moms in my life, adding different perspectives and caring for me in their own special ways. They both are sisters and married to two brothers and due to a quirk of fate (which I consider to be quite lucky), I got to know both my moms intimately. Though both the ladies are sisters, they are different in many ways and have always added value to my life at every stage.

Amma, who is my biological mother, is an ambitious lady, who instilled in me and my sister to be absolutely fearless and independent. It is because of her that I have independently taken all the major decisions of my life and never had the smallest regret. She is one of the best story tellers I have ever come across and she was the one who introduced me to the world of Jeffrey Archer through ‘As the crow flies’, book. It is not the book that I enjoyed, but it was the ambitious and never say die attitude of the lead characters that has always inspired me to achieve what I want in my life. She is the one who has always listened to the unending dreams/discourses/plans that I have made for myself and in time supported them all.

Mummy on the other hand is a wonderful cook and the person who taught me to be myself. Unknowingly, she taught me the love for cooking good food and to take care of a whole lot of things that are needed to create and maintain a home. Her unconstrained, unbridled way of life has always helped me to do what I please and yet maintain the sanity in my life. Her green fingers were the one that taught me how to love nature and everything in it. To cater to sweet-peas and dahlias in the winter or calendulas and zinnias during spring, it is all her love for the plants and nature that got transpired to me – without even a single spoken word.

If one mom has taught me to look after home, surroundings and its affairs then the other has taught me to face the big bad world with a confidence and optimism that are unshakable. I enjoy the best of both worlds and I am a witness to two precious lives, who have made me what I am today.

Happy Mother’s Day to you both – Amma and Mummy, for always taking care of me and preparing me to be a good mother too.